how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
