i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
