anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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