i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
