Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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