So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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