I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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