Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
