I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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