I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
