i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
