You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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