But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
