We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
