he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
