My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
