You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
