I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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