I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
