I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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