TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
