he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
