just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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