i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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