I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
