Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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