I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
