I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
