There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
