I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
