im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
