This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
