i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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