So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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