Im at strip club and am horny
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize