well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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