Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
