So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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