apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
