He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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