I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
