32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
