my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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