i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
