i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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