Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
