he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
