ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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