WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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