he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
