I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
