Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
