I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
