She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
