one two three fourrrrnication!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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