My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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