I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
