whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
