do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
