playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
